IF WE NEED SOMEONE TO TALK
ABOUT WORKING IN A PETROL STATION, I'LL BE ONTO YOU.

(DRUM MACHINE PLAYS)

- I LOVE THE BEATLES.
- YEAH. SO DO I.

THAT'S RUBBISH. I KNOW FOR A FACT
MARTIN LEWIS GOT TWO POWER SHOWERS OUT OF THEM.

THAT'S A HOMOSEXUAL.

I WISH I WAS. TAKE THIS CHEESE.

I FELT LIKE A RUDDY IDIOT.

I MAY WANT TO MIX THEM, BUT THAT'S MY DECISION.

AND DRIVEN TO A BIG WAREHOUSE
TO BE, LITERALLY, PULPED.

WELL, TAKE A LOOK IN THE MIRROR.

WAS FOR A COMPANY
THAT MAKES TONER FOR PHOTOCOPIERS.

I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD HAVE ONE,
CONSIDERING WHAT'S HAPPENED.

I'M IN A GOOD MOOD TODAY. I JUST FOUND OUT
MY WIFE'S BEEN STRUCK OFF MY LIFE INSURANCE.

- ALAN, YOU'RE MAKING A FOOL OF YOURSELF.
- WHO-OO...

GIVEN THAT IT'S TOO LATE TO BOOK ANYONE EKE,
THE ANSWER HAS TO BE YES.

(COCKEREL CROWS)
(MAN) A-HA!

THE ONION MYSTERY. THE ONION MURDERS.

WHERE THE HAND WAS PACKED IN SOLEROS,
MAGNUMS, MINI MILKS AND A FEAST.