- IT'S AN ALIEN JUDGE.
- GOLLY.

ALAN, I JUST CAN'T MOVE ON THE FEE.
YOU KNOW WE LOVE YOUR WORK.

- HOW CAN YOU KILL YOURSELF IN STARBUCKS?
- SHOTGUN IN YOUR MOUTH?

ALAN, "BOUNCING BACK". I SUSPECT
YOU MEANT IT AS AN IRONIC TITLE, DIDN'T YOU?

(FARTING NOISE)

SHALL WE MAKE TRACKS?

OH...BUTTER MY ARSE!

I WONDERED IF YOU HAD ANY MORE
ALAN PARTRIDGE TIE AND BADGE PACKS?

PERHAPS IT DOESN'T FIT IN WITH HER BLINKERED
VIEW OF THE WORLD. NEVERTHELESS, NICE SONG.

- CHRIS, CAN L...?
- JUST TWO MINUTES.

YEAH, YEAH. UM... WHAT'S ROUND THE BACK?

WELL, TAKE A LOOK IN THE MIRROR.

- YOU COULD ALWAYS REDUCE THE PRICE.
- AGAIN?

LYNN'S A GOOD WORKER,
BUT I SUPPOSE SHE'S A BIT LIKE BURT REYNOLDS.

I WAS SHOWING IT TO A GEORDIE LAST NIGHT
AND I'VE GONE AND LEFT IT IN HIS BLOODY HANDS.

- WHAT'S THAT ON YOUR FINGERS?
- THEY'RE TUNGSTEN-TIPPED SCREWS.

MAYBE YOU SHOULD BE BANNED AFTER SOME OF
THOSE SHOCKING PRIZES YOU'VE GIVEN AWAY.

LOOKS LIKE A LADY, BUT REALLY IT'S A MAN.