HELLO. OH, HIYA!

- THERE'S TOO MANY OF THEM?
- THAT'S ONE WAY OF LOOKING AT IT.

- THEY SHOULD HAVE PUT "M" ON YOUR FOREHEAD.
- WHY?

A SONG THERE ABOUT A PROSTITUTE. DOESN'T
GIVE HER SURNAME. MUST GIVE HER A CALL.

- DO YOU WANT ONE?
- YEAH.

DON'T WORRY. TRAPPED HER FINGER
IN A DOOR ONCE, SHE SWORE LIKE A DOCKER.

- AND LEAVE IT ON THE SPIKE?
- PULL IT OFF THE SPIKE.

- NO. YOU PULL YOUR FOOT OFF.
- MINE'S NOT ON THE SPIKE!

MICHAEL! MICHAEL, MR PARTRIDGE
IS STILL A GUEST IN THIS HOTEL.

RIGHT.

I WONDERED IF YOU HAD ANY MORE
ALAN PARTRIDGE TIE AND BADGE PACKS?

(SHOUTS)

WELL, WHERE DO I START?

UNFORTUNATELY SOME VANDALS
HAVE SWORN ALL OVER MY CAR AGAIN.

HELLO. PARTRIDGE.

YEAH. I HATE MERCS.
PEOPLE WHO DRIVE THEM ARE JUST SA-A-AD.

I'VE MISSED YOU AN' ALL, MAN. I REALLY HAVE. I JUST...

- OH, COME ON.
- YEAH, ALL RIGHT, THEN.