IT'S THE BANK HOLIDAY WEEKEND.
A TERRIBLE TIME FOR THE LONELY.

- CAN I BE VERY RUDE? NOT LIKE THAT.
- TY ME.

(MUSIC: "GET OUT OF YOUR LAZY BED")

THERE GOES ALAN PARTRIDGE,
LICENSED TO KILL...TIME BY WATCHING VIDEOS.

- HI. I'M PATRICIA LESSING.
- KAREN COLMAN. NICE OF YOU TO COME.

I THINK WE'VE GOT TIME FOR JUST ONE MORE QUESTION.

- BUT A HAPPY ONE.
- GOOD.

- I KNOW WHO YOU ARE. "NORFOLK NIGHTS".
- THE VERY SAME.

I TELL YOU WHO I'D LIKE TO PUT IN THE STOCKS.

I'D LIKE TO APOLOGISE IN ADVANCE IF IT REGISTERS.

L CARRIED ON BUYING YOUR TOMATOES.

THERE'S ONLY THE ONE CHAIR.

"WITH SPECIAL CELEBRITY GUEST STAR, SUE COOK."

- I CAN'T.
- I'LL COME WITH YOU.

IT'S A BEAUTIFUL DAY.

I THINK YOU'VE PUT TWO AND TWO TOGETHER
AND YOU'VE MADE FIVE

GO TO THE FRONT OF THE BUFFET QUEUE.

- MAYBE A WET T-SHIRT COMPETITION?
- YOU NEVER KNOW!