- YOU WANT EAT?
- WHAT HAVE WE GOT?

AND A CHAP IN HIS EARLY FORTIES,

ALL I CAN SEE IS A MONKEY
SPINNING TOWARDS THE WATER.

YOU MIGHT WANT TO READ YOUR "DAILY EXPRESS".

- AYE, IT IS.
- MICHAEL, CAN I HAVE A DRINK?

THEN ATE THE EVIDENCE.

HE HAS A NEW BABY BOY, JOSHUA,
AND HIS DAUGHTER HAS JUST STARTED SCHOOL.

THERE GOES ALAN PARTRIDGE,
LICENSED TO KILL...TIME BY WATCHING VIDEOS.

- GOOD MORNING, ALAN. HOW ARE YOU TODAY?
- CLASSIC QUEEN!

GO TO LONDON.
YOU'LL EITHER BE MUGGED OR NOT APPRECIATED.

WE'RE NOT MAKING A JAMES BOND MOVIE.

- MDF'S BANNED IN AMERICA.
- SO'S THAT.

THEY'D LIKE YOU TO JUDGE
THE VEGETABLE COMPETITION.

L HATE TO DO THIS TO YOU, ALAN,
BUT IT'S ACTUALLY A SONG ABOUT...

A GIANT MICROWAVE
AND YOU CAN JUST POP A WITCH IN IT. HORRIFIC!

IT'S A SURPRISE.

YOU PEOPLE.

YES.