# NOBODY DOES IT... # BIT OF NIPPLE.

IF I'M GOING DOWN, YOU'RE GOING DOWN WITH ME.

OK, SMALL TALK.

- CAN I WATCH "POIROT" ON UK GOLD?
- AS LONG AS YOU POP THE EARPHONES ON.

- DO YOU WANT TO PUT SOMETHING ON?
- YES.

FINE. SQUEEZE A DOUBLE BED IN
AND I CAN OPEN THE DOOR AND STEP ONTO THE BED.

WE COULD CALL IT
"AROUND THE WORLD WITH ALAN PARTRIDGE

YEAH. I'D BE DELIGHTED.

MARY POPPINS! WHAT'S THAT?

I'M DRIVING AROUND IN AN OBSCENE PUBLICATION.
I'D LOVE TO GET MY HANDS ON THE BASTARD.

LOOK IN THE BACK OF A SPOON

- SMELL MY CHEESE, YOU MOTHER!
- I THINK THAT'S QUITE ENOUGH, THANK YOU!

THEY MIGHT EAT THEM IN YOUR COUNTY.
WE DON'T HERE.

- WHAT A FUNNY STORY.
- ALAN'S FUNNY STORIES!

OUT POPS THE VAMPIRE...
COUNT DAVULA OF CLIFTONVANIA.

JILL, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
FOR GOD'S SAKE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

SEE THAT?

OK. HERE'S MATT BIANCO.