AYE. THIS ONE TIME, RIGHT,
L WAS STATIONED OUT IN BELIZE

THAT WAS ONE OF THE BIGGEST
STADIUM BANDS IN THE WORLD -

- LEAVE THE THEATRE OF CONFLICT.
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

IT'S NOT BOLLOCKS.
YOUR PROGRAMMES WERE APPALLING.

RIGHT, RIGHT.

THAT HAS THE LARGEST AUDIENCE SHARE
FOR A DIGITAL CHANNEL AT THAT TIME OF DAY

NO. I'M NOT GOING TO GIVE YOU
A SIX-MONTH CONTRACT.

IS THAT AN ORIGINAL?

OK. WELL, YOU GET
THE GENERAL IDEA ANYWAY. THANK YOU.

AND I MIGHT PUT IT ON A JAR OF PASTA.

HE KEEPS SAYING THAT.

- HOW CAN YOU KILL YOURSELF IN STARBUCKS?
- SHOTGUN IN YOUR MOUTH?

- IF IT WAS YOU COULD ADD A ZERO TO THAT,
- SEVENTY QUID?

IT'S A SURPRISE.

HA-HA. YOU DAFT RACIST!

BUT THEN YOU WERE BORN
AND WE GREW TO LIKE YOU.

NOT MY WORDS, CAROL,
THE WORDS OF "TOP GEAR" MAGAZINE.

I'VE HAD THESE SHORTS SINCE 1982.