YOU HAVEN'T LOST IT, ALAN.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THEY SAY.

I WANT A SIX-MONTH CONTRACT AT THE BBC
TO MAKE TELEVISION PROGRAMMES.

I CAN DO A WHALE. OOOH!

- I'M FROM MANCHESTER.
- M62.

- HOW MANY BEDROOMS HAS IT GOT?
- FIVE.

THAT'S A NICE SHIRT.

- ALL RIGHT?
- HELLO.

HELLO?

FANNY HAIR!

I'LL PUT THE KETTLE ON.

AND WHEN I GO SOUTH, IT'S LIKE A BREATH OF FRESH AIR.

LOVE TO. YEAH.

UNLESS I'VE GROSSLY MISREAD THE SITUATION.

HI, KIDS. IT'S GREAT TO BE BACK IN MY FINE OLD SCHOOL.

LET'S GET A COUPLE OF SOLEROS.
I NEED TO GET MY HEAD TOGETHER.

- YEAH,
- I'LL REPLICATE THE COVER STANCE.

OH, FORGET IT!

AND APACHE PRODUCTIONS WILL PROBABLY
GO DOWN THE PAN LIKE ALL THE OTHERS.