HE'S DEAD NOW.

SOME GUYS FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE ABOUT IT,
BUT I SAY WHY NOT COMBINE IT WITH A SCRATCH?

IDEA FOR A PROGRAMME,
"LADY SHAPES WITH ALAN PARTRIDGE".

I'VE GOT A CHOCOLATE MARBLE ARCH.

DIED OF SYPHILIS, HE DID.
SO THERE IS SOME JUSTICE.

GIVEN THAT IT'S TOO LATE TO BOOK ANYONE EKE,
THE ANSWER HAS TO BE YES.

(SLOW ROCK MUSIC)

ALAN, HAVE WE GOT A SECOND SERIES?

- CHRIS, CAN L...?
- JUST TWO MINUTES.

- THAT IS A WOMAN?
- AYE. IT'S LONG HAIR.

I'D LIKE TO FLY A HELICOPTER AROUND NORFOLK.

DON'T FORGET TO RINSE THE BATH.
USE THE SHOWER NOZZLE TO BLAST OFF THE SCUM.

WOULD YOU BE BRAVE ENOUGH
TO LET ME FINISH MY CONVERSATION?

NO. I'M SEEING TONY HADLEY FROM SPANDAU BALLET.

- HELLO.
- I'M NOT VERY HAPPY,

DAN!

YOU SIT THERE ON YOUR FAT BEHIND,

STEALING A TRAFFIC CONE, PUTTING IT ON MY HEAD,