YEAH. I GOT A CHALK PENIS DRAWN ON ME
BY SOME SHIT. I'D LOVE TO GET MY HANDS ON HIM.
- WE HAVEN'T GOT TIME FOR THAT, AL.
- WE'LL GO STRAIGHT TO THE TIMBER YARD.
- THANKS FOR MY DEDICATION THIS MORNING.
- YOU'RE WELCOME.
I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT. WHEN YOU HAVE A BOOK OUT,
YOU GET LOTS OF CRITICISM.
OPENING SEQUENCE - ME IN TRAFALGAR SQUARE
FEEDING THE PIGEONS, GOING, "OH, GOD!"
EXCELLENT. AND THE BAD NEWS?
WHY DON'T I BOOK IT NOW
AND YOU CAN ALWAYS CANCEL LATER.
I'LL LOOK BACK ON THAT
AS AN EXCELLENT PRACTICAL JOKE.
IDENTIFY THE HOSTAGES AND TAKE OUT THE TERRORISTS.
A PINT OF BITTER, A BIG MARKER PEN, WHATEVER.
THAT'S YOU AS WELL.
SHOOT ME NOW WITH A MASSIVE GUN!
THOUGH THE EFFECTS OF 23 YEARS ON THE GAME
60'S NOT REALLY OLD. I MEAN, LOOK AT BOB DYLAN.
FIRST, ALAN WAS VERY SHY BEFORE WE MAKE LOVE.
HE WAS VERY SHY OF HIS BODY.
MY WIFE AND I FOUND IT OFFERS
THE KIND OF LUXURY AND COMFORT
"IN A BULL-NOSE ON THE LEFT".
DO YOU WANT ME TO SETTLE THIS BILL?
BUT YOU MAY BE VERY DIZZY.
Alan Partridge: Big Beacon
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