MY PENIS IS SO AND SO.
IT'S POLITICAL CORRECTNESS GONE MAD.
RIGHT, FINE.
OR ROSARY BEADS IF YOU WERE FROM MEXICO.
AND TURNED HER SMILE UP.
I THINK EVERY PROFESSION HAS ITS SHITS.
BUT FINE, I'LL SACK HER.
- SMELL MY CHEESE, YOU MOTHER!
- I THINK THAT'S QUITE ENOUGH, THANK YOU!
- LYNN! I'LL JUST SPEAK OVER YOU.
- BUT...
CHEERS!
BONO? HE'S NOT HERE. DO YOU FANCY A CURRY?
(SIGHS)
- CAN YOU GO OUTSIDE?
- ALL RIGHT.
OH, GOD!
YOU DON'T REMEMBER WHERE IS BONO'S HOUSE?
(MUSIC.. "I'M A LUMBERJACK"
FROM MONTY PYTHON)
SO WHY NOT GET YOUR ARSES DOWN
TO THE SPICE MUSEUM IN LONG STANTON?"
ONE OF THE BENEFITS OF GLOBAL WARMING
AND INTERNATIONAL TERRORISM IS...
Alan Partridge: Big Beacon
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