I WAS THERE SHOUTING WITH EVERYONE EKE,

I REMEMBER I LEFT A TARTAN FLASK UP THERE.

THERE IS ZERO TOLERANCE ON DENIM IN THE BAR?

HOW DID THE COUNTY SHOW GO, ALAN?

WHAT'S THAT HANGING BETWEEN YOUR LEGS?

"KOJAK"!

- CAN I WATCH "POIROT" ON UK GOLD?
- AS LONG AS YOU POP THE EARPHONES ON.

THIS IS DAVID COPPERFIELD.

THAT WAS OAP - OLD ALAN PARTRIDGE.

THAT'S SUCH A POINTLESS DEATH.

AAH. DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
I'LL POP THAT WITH THE OTHERS.

I TELL YOU, YOU'VE NOT WITNESSED PURE EVIL

- VOILA.
- THANK YOU, ALAN, THAT'S REALLY LOVELY.

I THINK THERE'S ANOTHER WORD FOR IT.

- BUT A HAPPY ONE.
- GOOD.

IT LEAVES IN FIVE MINUTES
SO BETTER LEARN TO JOG AGAIN QUICKLY.

AND THEY SAY NURSES HAVE IT TOUGH.

OH, CHRIST! I'M SORRY.