I'VE HAD THESE SHORTS SINCE 1982.

WHAT DOES THAT SAY TO YOU
ABOUT REGIONAL DETECTIVE SERIES?

LET'S SEE WHAT THIS IDIOT DID.. IN AMERICA.

- LITTLEWOODS ARE VERY QUICK.
- THEY ARE, YES.

- WHAT'S HER NAME?
- IT'S A HE.

- YOU EVER BEEN TO IRELAND, ALAN?
- NO. I'D LOVE TO GO.

WOLVES AT THE DOOR. YOU'LL HUFF
AND YOU'LL PUFF AND... WHERE'S THE OTHER PIG?

LITERALLY. YOU'RE WELCOME TO COME ALONG.

I WONDER WHAT THAT WILL LOOK LIKE.

THEN WATCH TV, LIKE "CONE DANCING".

IT'S JUST SOME NOTES
I MADE LAST NIGHT, FOR A LAUGH.

- BUT I'M NOT A SEX OFFENDER.
- IT'S ALL RIGHT. THEY WON'T ASK ABOUT IT.

NO, IT'S ALL RIGHT.
I WAS JUST PORTRAYING A MADMAN.

IT'S WELL RENDERED. I SHOULD HAVE GOT THEM
TO DO THE HOUSE. BETTER THAN THESE BASTARDS.

- NOT KICK MY HEAD IN?
- NO. I THINK WE SHOULD SHAKE HANDS.

IN WHICH CASE
I WON'T EVEN KNOW IT'S HAPPENED.

- NO. HAVE YOU ANY TONIC WATER?
- AYE.

WE'VE GOT A TRAFFIC REPORT... THAT'S ANNOYING.