ALAN!

.."I'M ALAN PARTRIDGE".

"THEY STARTED BADLY, THEY GOT WORSE.
OOH, YOUR PROGRAMMES, YOUR PROGRAMMES."

THE WAY SHE LOOKED AT THAT NURSE.
GOD REST HER RACIST SOUL.

OH, YOU'VE GOT THEM. EXCELLENT.

YOUR MIND'S FLYING.

COULD BE BRIAN MAY.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING NOW?

SO HAD THE BRONTI SISTERS.

PERHAPS A METAPHOR FOR...

A FRIED BREAKFAST MAKES AN EXCELLENT APHRODISIAC.
EXCUSE ME.

WHEN WILL THEY LEARN?
MIND, SHE WAS SEXY. SHE WORE A G-STRAP.

JAVA.

JILL, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT
THE PEDESTRIANISATION OF NORWICH CITY CENTRE?

ALL I CAN SEE IS A MONKEY
SPINNING TOWARDS THE WATER.

I WANT YOU TO POUR A LITTLE BIT,
LET ME SIP IT, AND THEN POUR THE REST.

(HOARSELY) OH, LADY-BOYS!

DAN!