- # DING DONG MERRILY ON... #
- DON'T SING, SUSAN!

WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?

WE COULD CALL IT
"AROUND THE WORLD WITH ALAN PARTRIDGE

- GOODNIGHT.
- GOODNIGHT.

WHEN GOD WAS HANDING OUT CHESTS...

- GRAFFITI? WHAT, IN THE HOTEL?
- NO, THERE'S NEVER ANY GRAFFITI IN THE HOTEL.

WELL, AS I SAY, IT'S VEY CONFUSING.

WHO HAPPEN TO PRODUCE "BOOB OLYMPICS",
"THE EUROVISION THONG CONTEST"

I'LL WATCH IT FOR YOU!
THROUGH MY LITTLE BINOCULARS, WHOO!

IT'S A TRAVEL TAVERN.

WE CAN'T CELEBRATE WITH THE SPICE GIRLS,

OH, DEAR, OH, DEAR.

JED, I'LL LEVEL WITH YOU.

- LYNN, I'M NOT DRIVING A MINI METRO.
- BUT YOU DO HAVE TO MAKE SUBSTANTIAL SAVINGS.

- GOT YOUR BIG PLATE, ALAN?
- YES.

ARE A MILLION MILES FROM YOUR THOUGHTS
AS YOU NEGOTIATE THE NORFOLK BROADS.

THE GOOD THING
ABOUT STEPHEN HAWKING IS, HE IS CLEAR.

I KEEP LOOSE WERTHER'S ORIGINALS IN THEM.