..THROUGH CHILDHOOD
TO YOUR DRUG ADDICTION AND PROSTITUTION...

"THEY STARTED BADLY, THEY GOT WORSE.
OOH, YOUR PROGRAMMES, YOUR PROGRAMMES."

YOU'RE NOT EVEN LISTENING, ARE YOU?

I HAVE A MILITARY-BASED QUIZ SHOW ON CABLE TV
CALLED "SKIRMISH", AND A GIRLFRIEND.

IN 1976, I SAW ELO AT THE BIRMINGHAM NEC.

PEOPLE WITH EYEBROWS ON THEIR CHEEKS...

HELLO. DANTE FIRES? THROUGH THERE.
OOOH...YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE A GOOD TIME.

EXTRAORDINARY.

ALAN!

THE CARS MIGHT SKID ON IT.

ANYWAY, COMMISERATIONS.

THIS IS MY WIFE AND I
GOING OFF TO THE LOCAL MARKETPLACE,

(GEORDIE ACCENT) "ADD A DASH OF BLUE BLOOD."
(ALAN SINGS IT)

WOULD HAVE BEEN BURNT AT THE STAKE.

SOMEONE SHOULD HAVE TOLD HIM.

IT'S STILL CORPORAL PUNISHMENT.
SEE YOU IN STRASBOURG.

THEY START SHOOTING AT HIM
AND HE GOES, "JUST STOP IT!"

OH, YOU'VE GOT THE DATE WRONG THERE.
JUST INITIAL THAT.