- I NEED TO PICK YOUR BRAINS.
- PICK AWAY.

TO AN INNOCENT BYSTANDER,
IT COULD LOOK LIKE TRAFFIC CONE THEFT.

ARE A MILLION MILES FROM YOUR THOUGHTS
AS YOU NEGOTIATE THE NORFOLK BROADS.

..REVOLVE. OR VICE VERSA, YOU KNOW.

- THE RETIRED POLICEMAN WHO'S NOT A CON MAN?
- YES.

BY THE QUICK FEET
OF BLOUSE-WEARING TYCOON MICHAEL FLATLEY.

ACTUALLY, SOPHIE, THERE'S AN ISSUE I'VE BEEN
MEANING TO RAISE FOR THE LAST TWO WEEKS.

BY ONE OR TWO LISTENERS, AND A NEWSPAPER.

I DON'T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOUR WIFE.

(FARTING NOISE)

I'M TALKING ABOUT THE MENO...MENOPAU...
OOH, JILL, YOU KNOW YOUR ONIONS!

ARE YOU TYING TO PUT ME OFF?
TWO CAN PLAY AT THAT GAME!

HI, I'M ALAN PARTRIDGE AND I DRIVE A CAR,
BUT NOT LIKE THIS.

IN 1976, I SAW ELO AT THE BIRMINGHAM NEC.

SINCE OWNING A LEXUS,
IT'S AMAZING THE NUMBER OF LEXI YOU SEE AROUND.

I USED TO CHAT TO ANOTHER BLOKE
BUT HE LIKES AMERICAN THINGS.

(SCREECHING)

FIRE! FIRE! THE FAIR'S ON FIRE!