WHO'S SHE? IS SHE YOUR LATEST ER...?

- WHEN YOU WERE WITH THAT WOMAN...
- DID YOU SEE HER FACE? CLASSIC.

SORRY. THANK YOU, LOVE. A BIT ODD!

YEAH. I LIKE ALL THE BANDS.

- I HOPE YOU'RE BEING LOOKED AFTER.
- BOB OWNS A GARDEN CENTRE.

EMBARRASSING. IDIOT.

THIS HASN'T BEEN CLEANED OUT FOR YEARS. THERE'S A
LITTLE JAPANESE SOLDIER HERE STILL FIGHTING THE WAR.

- SONJA, DID YOU GET THE PICCALILLI?
- YES.

- HELLO. MICHAEL.
- AYE AYE, MR PARTRIDGE.

AND I'LL BE ALAN PARTRIDGE!

# TAKE A PINCH OF WHITE MAN
WRAP HIM UP IN BLACK SKIN... #

YOU ARE SOMEONE WHO HAS A PROVEN TRACK RECORD
FOR MAKING BAD TELEVISION PROGRAMMES.

- LYNN, ARE YOU WEARING PERFUME?
- YES.

- YOU'RE AWAY WITH THE HELICOPTERS.
- LIKE "MASH". THAT BEGINS WITH AN "M".

- IT'S A SMALL "H".
- NO, MAN. YOU CAN SEE THAT FROM SPACE.

(SIGHS)

SHE DIDN'T LIKE NEWCASTLE OR THE CULTURE.

- WHAT DO YOU DO ON A BOAT ALONE?
- READ A BOOK, RELAX, LOOK AT THE SCENERY.