- THEN THE CHEMICAL DEPENDENCY GREW WORSE?
- YEAH.

ANY MORE NEWS, ALAN?

- JED MAXWELL.
- NO RELATION TO ROBERT MAXWELL?

I TELL THEM MY BOYFRIEND IS GOOD FRIEND WITH BONO.

- GIVE HIM ANOTHER SERIES, YOU SWINE!
- YEAH, GIVE ME ANOTHER SERIES, YOU SHIT.

YOU'RE NOT JUST SEXY,
YOU'RE ALSO A VERY GOOD...FAN CLUB MEMBER.

A BIT LIKE LADY-BOYS.

1.15, "GOLDFINGER".
STRAWBERRY NESQUIK, FISHCAKES.

I THOUGHT IT WOULD HAVE BROKEN DOWN
BY NOW,

- A NAKED JOG ACROSS THE LANDING.
- WHAT IF YOU'VE GOT GUESTS?

AND THE BIGGEST BOWL OF ALPEN YOU'VE EVER SEEN.

TIME TO RUN YOURSELF A BIG BATH. IT'S CHRIS REA.

- HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO THE FAR EAST, MICHAEL?
- ONLY MANILA, HONG KONG AND BANGKOK.

NO, THAT'S NOT WORKING.

I'M SORRY, LYNN.

("GAUDETE" BY STEELEYE SPAN,
SUNG IN LATIN)

- COULD WE SEE THE RECEIPTS ON YOUR SPIKE?
- YES. I HAVE A CONFESSION.

I PRESENT A MILITARY-BASED QUIZ SHOW
ON A DAYTIME DIGITAL CHANNEL CALLED UK CONQUEST.