COULD I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH?

- WE'LL BE OFF, THEN.
- GREAT.

I WON'T KISS YOU GOODBYE.
I'LL KISS YOU LATER. AND THE REST. WHOA!

JUST GIVE ME HALF A BOTTLE OF BLUE NUN, PLEASE.

EXCELLENT. I'VE DONE MY HOMEWORK.
WOULD YOU LIKE A DRINK?

CLIFF THORBURN IS NOT PRIMARILY A PRESENTER.

I THINK WE'VE GOT TIME FOR JUST ONE MORE QUESTION.

SO... HOW HAVE YOU BEEN, ALAN?

WE NORMALLY HAVE THREE CLOCKS
TELLING THE TIME IN LONDON, PARIS AND DUBLIN.

DO YOU THINK THAT'S ALL RIGHT?
NOT TOO SENTIMENTAL? EXCELLENT.

- WHAT'S HIS NAME?
- GORDON.

YOU HAVE TO PHONE THE COUNCIL, BUT THEY'VE
SHOVED YOUR MOBILE PHONE UP YOUR BACKSIDE.

BUT WITH BIGGER HANDS AND EYES AND SEX ORGANS,

DON'T YOU FEEL GOOD? RELAX.

- CAN'T YOU JUST DIM IT A BIT?
- YEAH, OK.

AND IT WAS FULL OF SOILED BANDAGES.

- A-HA!
- GOD!

IN THE BEST CHAPTER,
I TALK ABOUT WHEN I GORGED ON TOBLERONE