HE'S IN BANGKOK, AND THE PROSTITUTES ARE SAYING
HOW MUCH, AND HE'S GOING, "I'M NOT PAYING THAT".
NO, HE NEVER DOES.
I'M AFRAID, SUSAN, I'VE GOT SOME VERY BAD NEWS.
- REALLY?
- IT'S THE BEST IDEA IN THE WORLD.
IT'S BASICALLY ZERO-MAINTENANCE GRASS.
DON'T BE HORRIBLE TO ALAN.
IF YOU DO K, Y AND Z, BOB'S YOUR UNCLE.
- WERE YOU SICK?
- NOT REALLY, NO.
(GERMAN ACCENT)
..TO NO MORE THAN TEN MINUTES!
- GOOD MORNING, ALAN. HOW ARE YOU TODAY?
- CLASSIC QUEEN!
BUT YOU MAY BE VERY DIZZY.
THIS IS LOVELY, THIS.
IT'S SORT OF LIKE AN OLD LADY'S HAIR.
I'VE BEEN GETTING YOUR CLOTHES
READY FOR THE COUNTY SHOW,
I DONE IT JUST TO CHEER YOU UP
BECAUSE THE FIREPLACE JOB WAS KNACKERED
BECAUSE THEY'VE PACKED THEM IN TOO TIGHT.
LISTEN, JILL, I REALLY LIKE YOU, BUT...
- YOU'RE NOT A COPPER.
- A CITIZEN'S ARREST.
- DON'T GIVE YOURSELF A HEART ATTACK.
- IT'S CARDIOVASCULAR EXERCISE.
VERY CLEVER MEN.
BOTH VERY CLEVER MEN, BUT I DON'T TRUST THEM.
WOULD NOT RENDER HER PLEASURABLE TO MINE EYE.
Alan Partridge: Big Beacon
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