I'M HOSTING A CONFERENCE FOR DANTE'S OF READING -

OH, I'M SO SORRY.

MY BOOK COULD END UP BEING RECONSTITUTED
AS A TABLE IN A HOME FOR BATTERED WOMEN.

I USED TO GO ON NATURE TRAILS AND SPOT FLOWERS

"THE EAGLE HAS LANDED."

ACTUALLY, BEING YOUR AGE AND EVERYTHING,
THERE'S PROBABLY NO NEED FOR THEM.

WHAT'S THE ONE WITH THE VOLCANO THAT OPENS UP
AND THERE'S ALL CHINKIES JUMPING DOWN?

NEEDLESS TO SAY, I HAD THE LAST LAUGH.
NOW FUCK OFF!

YOU KNOW, WHEN I USED TO SEE YOU IN RECEPTION,

THAT'S ONE OF THOSE '80S ONES.
BLACK GRANITE. IT'S A WASTE, REALLY.

- BUT IT'S NOT.
- IT'S NOT.

AND IT WOULDN'T BE CUSTARD PIES
I'D BE THROWING AT HIM EITHER.

NICE ROOM.

YEAH. I THINK THE IRISH ARE GOING
THROUGH A MAJOR IMAGE CHANGE.

I RELEASED AN UNEXPECTED BUT POTENT GUST.

I'VE CHANGED MY MIND ABOUT EXCALIBUR COTTAGE.
L THINK I'LL CALL IT "YE HOUSE".

CERTAINLY NOT "BRAVO TWO ZERO" BY ANDY MCNAB,
WHICH ACTUALLY IMPROVES WITH EVERY READ.

LYNN, THE ANNIVERSARY OF A DEAD MUM
IS ALWAYS A TOUGH ONE.