AND GOOD MORNING TO YOU, MR ALAN PARTRIDGE, SIR.

ABSO-BLOODY-EXACTLY!

THEIR WORTH IS WORTH...

- CAN YOU REALLY?
- YEAH.

- ALAN?
- THAT WAS QUICK.

WOULD YOU BE BRAVE ENOUGH
TO LET ME FINISH MY CONVERSATION?

BUT IT WAS DIFFERENT FOR ME, LIKE
'CAUSE I WAS IN THE ARMY WHEN I WAS SEVENTEEN.

PLEASE GIVE A BIG HA... APPLAUD!
APPLAUD LIKE MAD FOR SUSAN CRESSWELL.

- IT'S EMPTY.
- WHAT?

IN THE NORFOLK AREA.

LET'S TAKE A LOOK.

ABOUT EAST END THUGS WHO LEND YOU
AND A WEEK LATER YOU OWE THEM A MILLION.

..I THINK I'D STILL BE TROUBLED.

THIS CUSHION IS CALLED SCATTER CUSHION.
I CALL IT THE SCATTER LOVE CUSHION.

IF I WAS DRESSED ON THE OTHER SIDE
IT WOULD BE IN CONTACT.

- SO THIS IS APACHE COMMUNICATIONS?
- YEAH.

WHAT? THAT'S TERRIBLE!

WASN'T PLEASANT.