AND NOW IT'S TIME FOR ALAN'S "FACT OF THE DAY".

YOU FILL IN THE POND WITH CONCRETE,
PLOUGH THE FAMILY INTO THE FIELD,

IS NOT SO ENJOYABLE
AS GANDAIF WITH A LONG WHITE BEARD,

- DONE.
- GREAT.

AND DON'T TRY TO HOVER UP SO THAT THE ROPE
GOES SLACK. THEY COULD DO THAT, COULDN'T THEY?

AND AFTERWARDS A BUNCH OF US
WENT DOWN TO LASER QUEST.

- UM... IN FACT, I THINK I'LL GO.
- NO.

LISTENERS, I HAVE SOMEONE ON THE LINE
WHO FEARS HE MAY BE A GAY.

(STEVE) CAN YOU CALL CLIFF THORBURN NOW, PLEASE?

- BUT WITH A MORE SLAPSTICK APPROACH.
- NO.

YES!

I WILL REMEMBER. THE LAST TIME I WAS THERE
I TOOK SOME POT AND I WAS BRIEFLY MINDLESS.

IT WILL BE DIFFICULT DAY FOR ME IN COFFEE SHOP.
I HAVE TO CUT THE CARROT CAKE.

SEE YOU LATER.

FIRST OF ALL TONIGHT IS MY BEST... CHRIST.

- LITTLEWOODS ARE VERY QUICK.
- THEY ARE, YES.

BANG & OLUFSEN.

IT'S GOOD THIS, ISN'T IT, EVEN THOUGH
WE'RE BASICALLY JUST LISTING CHOCOLATE BARS?