- HELLO, TONY! HOW ARE YOU?
- I'M FINE.

BY RANDY MCNAB!

(MUSIC STOPS)

HE CAN'T GET A RECORD DEAL.
THERE'S NO JUSTICE, CHRISTIAN...LE VAUX.

- I SAY THAT LEXUS IS LIKE THE...
- (BOTH) JAPANESE MERCEDES.

HELLO.

YES. THE ATMOSPHERE HAS TURNED RATHER SOUR.

- YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT WATERSPORTS ARE?
- I BELIEVE WE'VE ESTABLISHED THAT.

ALAN, MORE GOOD NEWS...

ONE DAY, I CAME BACK TO MY TENT
AND IT HAD EATEN ALL MY FAGS.

I'M GETTING THE HANG OF THIS.
MIND YOU, I HAVE BEEN HERE TEN WEEKS.

OH, SUPER. I'VE BEEN TRYING
TO GET THIS BOX OFF CAROL FOR MONTHS.

- EXCUSE ME, ARE YOU ALAN PARTRIDGE?
- YES.

- WHOA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- POURING THE WINE OUT.

BECAUSE GOD IS A VERY POSITIVE GOD.

AND I DO IT IN A LOVELY OLD BULL-NOSED MORRIS.

BANG!

HELLO. IS THAT CURRY'S?