THEY WOULDN'T KNOW A GOOD IDEA
IF I HIT THEM OVER THE HEAD WITH IT

MAYBE YOU SHOULD BE BANNED AFTER SOME OF
THOSE SHOCKING PRIZES YOU'VE GIVEN AWAY.

FOUR YEARS AGO,
SUSAN LOST HER HAND IN A CAKE-CUTTING MACHINE.

.."I'M ALAN PARTRIDGE".

DO YOU WANT A LIFT TO THE CAB RANK?

BLOODY HELL.

COULD I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH?

BUT I AM HAPPY.

BUT IF THE ELEPHANT MAN CAME IN HERE NOW

THANK YOU.

TALKING...

- WHAT DO YOU THINK OF AMERICAN THINGS?
- A BIT FULL OF THEMSELVES.

THANK YOU. THEY WERE THERE WHEN I MOVED IN.

YES. SOME ARE ON A SPIKE,
YOU'VE GOT SOME IN AN ENVELOPE

ALL I CAN SEE IS A MONKEY
SPINNING TOWARDS THE WATER.

YOU'VE LOCKED THE DOOR.
SOMETIMES YOU DON'T WANT TO.

- DO YOU WANT ANY PETROL?
- I'LL GET IT ACROSS THE ROAD.

(SIGHS)