IT'S NO LAUGHING MATTER.

- IT IS HIM!
- IT IS!

WHAT A VIDEO,

- THIS DOESN'T FEEL LIKE A TREAT.
- THAT WAY.

SORRY ABOUT SAYING PENIS EARLIER.

I SAID, "CONGRATULATIONS,
YOU'VE GOT A SECOND SERIES.

SINCE OWNING A LEXUS,
IT'S AMAZING THE NUMBER OF LEXI YOU SEE AROUND.

I FELT LIKE A RUDDY IDIOT.

ANY MORE NEWS, ALAN?

ALAN, I'VE TOLD YOU A THOUSAND TIMES,
NO ONE WANTS TO KILL YOU.

PARTRIDGE. YOU'RE THROUGH TO THE STATIC HOME.

"FROM ALAN PARTRIDGE."

WHAT YOU'LL HAVE DONE IS,
WHEN IT SAID ON YOUR SCREEN,

I'M A NAKED WOMAN IN SILHOUETTE WITH A GUN.

THIS IS A GOOD MURDER WEAPON
BECAUSE YOU COULD BEAT THEM TO DEATH,

- GET YOURSELF ANOTHER.
- NO CHANCE. BRITISH?

THE RATINGS WERE A NINTH OF WHAT WE COULD HAVE
EXPECTED, THEY STARTED BADLY, THEY GOT WORSE...

HELLO? BATTERY.