EMBARRASSING. IDIOT.

I WAS DRUNK, YOU KNOW. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING
ASLEEP ON THE SINK, JUST LIKE THIS.

WITH A SELF-PENNED SONG
ENTITLED "I LOVED YOU, BUT YOU LEFT ME".

THIS IS DAVID COPPERFIELD.

I COULDN'T STAY THERE AFTER THAT.

AND SACK HER FOR BEING AN ABSOLUTE IDIOT

I'D LIKE TO FLY A HELICOPTER AROUND NORFOLK.

SADLY, IT DIDN'T WORK, SO OFF IT CAME AGAIN,

THAT WAS SWEATING LUNATIC IGGY POP,
PART OF OUR TUESDAY "PUNK PACK",

JUST CRUDE, LIKE...

BUT PART OF THE PROBLEM WAS THAT SHE DID WORK
FOR HIM, AND HE HAD TO SACK HER ANYWAY.

- YES, IT IS.
- IT'S VERY NICE. WHAT IS IT?

- THIS ISN'T "SILENT WITNESS".
- HELLO.

CERTAINLY NOT "BRAVO TWO ZERO" BY ANDY MCNAB,
WHICH ACTUALLY IMPROVES WITH EVERY READ.

COULD I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH?

THAT'S TOO HIGH.

FIVE, COR! MY FIVE-BEDROOM BASTARD HOUSE.

YOU HAVEN'T LOST IT, ALAN.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THEY SAY.