(LAUGHS)

THREE WORDS.

- OH. ALL RIGHT? THE NAME'S TEX.
- TEXT?

- WHAT'S THAT?
- IT'S A TIP. I PANICKED. DO DECLARE IT.

RIGHT UP TO TWENTIETH-CENTURY WELL-TONED WOMEN

NO, THANKS.
I DON'T WANT TO BE PART OF YOUR SEX FESTIVAL.

- DO YOU KNOW HER?
- NO. HOW DID YOU MEET?

SO WHO ARE YOU?

WE NORMALLY HAVE THREE CLOCKS
TELLING THE TIME IN LONDON, PARIS AND DUBLIN.

PHWOAR! LOOK AT THE LEGS ON THAT.

- THERE YOU GO, TWO CHOCOLATE MOUSSES.
- THANK YOU.

YES.

BUT HE MUST ALSO SACK HER FROM HER JOB AS HIS
RECEPTIONIST. I DIDN'T MENTION THAT EARLIER,

YOU SEE, I DON'T MIND THAT
BECAUSE OF THE SMILE.

I WOULDN'T EAT A TOMATO IF IT SAID, "EAT ME"
WHICH IS NOT UNLIKELY GIVEN THE RUBBISH IN THEM.

THAT WAS OAP - OLD ALAN PARTRIDGE.

THAT APPEALS TO MAINSTREAM AUDIENCES
ON BOTH SIDES OF THE IRISH SEA.

YOUR MISSION.. GO TO CARDIFF, HAVE FULL SEX
WITH A WOMAN, COME BACK ON THE COACH.