I THINK THAT WENT QUITE WELL.

NOT MY WORDS, MICHAEL.
THE WORDS OF SHAKIN' STEVENS.

MICHAEL, I WOULDN'T ASK FOR
A 25% DISCOUNT ON A KITCHEN.

JUST MAKING A JOKE ABOUT HOW INFECTED CATTLE
FEED CAN ATTACK THE CENTRAL NERVOUS SYSTEM.

..THROUGH CHILDHOOD
TO YOUR DRUG ADDICTION AND PROSTITUTION...

HE WANTS TO BE BURIED IN A LARGE SATIN-LINED
COFFIN WITH A COUPLE OF PAGE THREE STUNNERS.

(ROBOTIC) TEA OR COFFEE? TEA OR COFFEE?

IT'S YOU, ISN'T IT? YOU'RE ALAN PARTRIDGE.

RIGHT, SONJA. LET'S SORT THIS TIMETABLE OUT.

- IT'S OK...
- NO, STAY! DON'T GO!

YOU'RE NOT PUSHING THEM HARD ENOUGH.
PRETEND I'M A CUSTOMER.

YEP, I'VE BEEN PUBIC FOR THIRTY-ONE YEARS.

YOU'RE IN THE RIGHT BALLPARK.

PEOPLE WHO FELT VERY ALONE,
BUT THROUGH ME THEY'VE FOUND A FRIEND...

MAYBE THE MONKEYS ARE TYING
TO COLLECT ENOUGH PARTS TOGETHER

(MUSIC.. "I'M A LUMBERJACK"
FROM MONTY PYTHON)

THIS'LL HAPPEN TO YOU WHEN YOU HIT 4O.
IT'S CUTTING INTO MY FINGERS.

STILL, GOOD NEWS ABOUT THE CHOCOLATE ORANGES.