YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING,
YOU'VE GOT TO READ THE SUNDAY PAPERS,

.."PARTRIDGE" I CAN UNDERSTAND,
BUT THEN "COCK" AND "PISS"

(SUSAN) TEA? COFFEE?

I DON'T WANT SALVATION.
I JUST WANT TO BE ABLE TO SAY...

- THAT'S THE WORK SURFACE I TOLD YOU ABOUT.
- LYNN, YOUR BAILEY'S.

"WHILE OVERTAKING NATIONAL EXPRESS COACHES
CAN BECOME A LONG, DRAWN-OUT AFFAIR."

- ON YOUR FOREHEAD.
- YOU'VE HAD MORPHINE.

AND THEN I POPPED INTO HI-FI SERIOUS

WELL, TAKE A LOOK IN THE MIRROR.

THAT'S A GOOD STAINLESS STEEL HOB. VERY FUTURISTIC.

..MOST TIMES. THANKS.

- ARE YOU ALAN PARTRIDGE?
YES.

- I'VE NOT GOT CANCER.
- YOU CAN'T BE TOO CAREFUL.

- I LIKE THOSE EARRINGS. ARE THEY GOLD?
- YES, THEY'RE ROLLED GOLD.

THAT'S ONE CHARITY I AVOID.
DON'T WANT TO GET TARRED WITH THE MAD BRUSH.

I DON'T BELIEVE YOU JUST SAID THAT.

# HE PAINTED SALFORD'S SMOKY TOPS
ON CARDBOARD BOXES FROM THE SHOPS

..THEN WE BRING THE COWS IN,
GET THEM MILKED BY 6 AM, SO..