THANK YOU, ALAN.
SLIGHTLY MORE EXCITING THAN I'D ANTICIPATED.

NO. "WAR OF THE WORLDS." GUESS THE TUNE.

HELLO.

NO, FINE.

THESE ARE NICE. GOT A NICE KIND OF GLOSSY FINISH.

AND DON'T TRY TO HOVER UP SO THAT THE ROPE
GOES SLACK. THEY COULD DO THAT, COULDN'T THEY?

IS HE STILL DRIVING THAT RENAULT MEGANE?

I HATE ARCHERS, "THE ARCHERS" AND JEFFREY ARCHER.
YOU'RE ALL DECEITFUL COWARDS.

AND NOW IT'S TIME FOR ALAN'S "FACT OF THE DAY".

SO IT'S SLIGHTLY LESS RUDE.

- WELL, THERE'S U2, OF COURSE.
- U2.

LIKE LITTLE WAX TEARS
DRIPPING FROM YOUR EARS BECAUSE THEY'RE SAD.

I THINK THERE'S ANOTHER WORD FOR IT.

"WELCOME TO "AMERICA'S STRONGEST MAN'
WHERE THE TOUGHEST, MIGHTIEST TITANS.."

WHO SMILES AT A BLACK & DECKER WORKMATE
FOR GOODNESS SAKE?

I TOLD TOMEK TO PUT HIS COFFEE SHOP
UP INSIDE HIS ASS.

AH. YOU KNOW THESE ARE INERTIA REEL SEAT BELTS?

- YES, HE IS. IT'S A MAN.
- THAT'S HER BOYFRIEND.