HAVE YOU EVER SHAVED YOUR CRACKLING?

- IF SHE BURSTS, SHE'S INNOCENT.
- YES.

- HELLO, HELLO, HELLO.
- YEAH.

L HOPE YOU DON'T MIND,

AND "SKIRMISH", A MILITARY-BASED QUIZ SHOW
ON DIGITAL CABLE CHANNEL UK CONQUEST

HE'S THE CHIEF COMMISSIONING EDITOR
OF BBC TELEVISION.

GO ON, LYNN LASS!

- OH, YOU THINK IT'S FUNNY.
- I'M SORRY.

I BRING AN ELEMENT OF HUMOUR.

- GET READY FOR THE TAX PEOPLE.
- CHILL OUT, BABE...LOVE...LYNN.

- HOW DO YOU... CAN L...
- WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS WEEKEND?

- I'VE KILLED A BEAR! WHO IS HE?
- HE'S A BARGAIN BEEFEATER BEAR.

- OK. ALAN, I LOVE YOU.
- THANKS A LOT.

BUT WITH DIFFERENT-SHAPED PASTA.

(CONTINUOUS BEEP)

- LADY AT THE BACK.
- YES, ALAN.

IF I WAS YOUNG AND MORE ATTRACTIVE?

OH, GOD, YEAH.