WOLVES AT THE DOOR. YOU'LL HUFF
AND YOU'LL PUFF AND... WHERE'S THE OTHER PIG?
I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE INTO MUSIC.
I'VE HEARD YOUR SHOW.
IT'S IN NO WAY CONNECTED WITH OUR PROXIMITY.
I'M GOING NOWHERE, LYNN.
HE'S CRACKERS, MAN.
- COULD I HAVE A SANDWICH, PLEASE?
- YES.
EVEN THOUGH I DO HATE IT AND I DON'T
LIVE HERE, I POP IN FOR BREAKFAST.
I'VE HAD THESE SHORTS SINCE 1982.
SHE WAS A BIG WOMAN. I'M TEMPTED TO SAY
SHE WAS BIG-HEARTED, BUT THAT WOULD BE BULLSHIT.
- NICE TO MEET YOU.
- AND YOU.
I TELL THEM MY BOYFRIEND IS GOOD FRIEND WITH BONO.
OF COURSE, TAPE MEASURES
IN THOSE DAYS WERE VIEWED WITH SUSPICION.
WHY THE RED ROPE AND PLASTIC FRUIT?
THEY WERE DOING EVERYONE, ALAN.
EVEN ME. IT WAS QUITE SAVAGE.
THEN I'D FLY TO CORNWALL
AND SMASH INTO THE SEA IN A BALL OF FLAMES.
- PROBABLY PUT THEM IN A CARDBOARD TUBE.
- THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
A SONG IN WHICH JONI COMPLAINS THAT
THEY PAVED PARADISE TO PUT UP A PARKING LOT.
- DO YOU KNOW WHAT I USED TO THINK?
- NO.
Alan Partridge: Big Beacon
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