- WHAT IS COCKNEY?
- AN AREA IN LONDON WHERE CRIMINALS LIVE.

I ALSO RANG ALL THE COMPANIES
ON THE PRODUCT LIST YOU GAVE ME.

YOU'RE JOINING ME, ALAN PARTRIDGE,

WITH SOME CLASSIC ELECTRO-ROCK

ASK YOURSELF TWO QUESTIONS - HOW AND WHY?

NO, HE NEVER DOES.
I'M AFRAID, SUSAN, I'VE GOT SOME VERY BAD NEWS.

(MUSIC: "GET OUT OF YOUR LAZY BED")

I'LL JUST WRITE THAT DOWN.

- I CAN GET YOU A KITCHEN.
- FANCY A FLAV?

OH, THERE WAS A CALL FOR YOU. A MR NISHEAD RANG.

- HE LOOKS QUITE NICE.
- THE DEVIL CAN TAKE MANY FORMS.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE DAMAGE,
THEY'RE ALL DAMAGED.

AND I'LL BE ALAN PARTRIDGE!

NO, I MEAN GENERALLY.
NOT SPECIFICALLY THE TOILET.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE HAD FOR BREAKFAST
PRESUMABLY AN INFECTED SPINAL COLUMN IN A BAP.

- I WANT TO GO TO LONDON.
- THAT'S FINE.

YOU'RE LOOKING A GIFT HORSE IN THE MOUTH.

JURASSIC PARK.