UTTER, UTTER NUTTERS.

I SAY, "THIS IS FOR YOU, TOM!"
HE'S BEGGING US, MAN. "NO! PLEASE! DON'T!"

IF YOU STICK AROUND
FOR THE AFTERNOON WITH ALAN PARTRIDGE,

- IT WOULD HAVE BEEN A DIFFERENT STORY, REALLY.
- IT WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN ROUND!

BECAUSE GIN AND TONIC AND BAILEYS
ARE LIKE A LADY'S DRINK, LAGER'S A BOYS' DRINK?

IDEA FOR A PROGRAMME,
"LADY SHAPES WITH ALAN PARTRIDGE".

THEY'VE GOT SOME GOATS' CHEESE OUT THERE.

AT YOUR AGE, IT'S STILL ILLEGAL.
YOU DON'T WANT TO END UP IN PRISON.

"THE DAY OF THE JACKAL."
"DAY OF THE JACKAL."

HELLO, CHRIS. ARE YOU DEAD?

DO YOU WANT ME TO SETTLE THIS BILL?

IN RECESSED LETTERING,
WHICH WOULD ALSO COLLECT CRUMBS.

EVEN THOUGH I DO HATE IT AND I DON'T
LIVE HERE, I POP IN FOR BREAKFAST.

HELLO. YEAH, IT'S ALAN. YOUR LOVER'S HUSBAND.

(WOMAN) "I ENJOYED "THE HOBBIT"
MORE THAN "RIVERDANCE"

- I HOPE YOU'RE BEING LOOKED AFTER.
- BOB OWNS A GARDEN CENTRE.

IF YOU SLICED THAT UP, YOU'D HAVE MOST OF
THE WORK SURFACE FOR A POGGENPOHL KITCHEN.

IT'S NOT
BECAUSE WE HAVEN'T DECIDED ON THE TILES YET.