BUT TWO YEARS AGO, I WAS A MESS.
I'D PUT ON WEIGHT. I HAD BREASTS.

- YOU DO KNOW WHO I AM?
- NO,

ESPECIALLY IF IT HAD ONE OF THOSE CIGARETTE
CARDS IN THE SPOKES, SO IT WENT "FFFFF".

- ARE YOU ALL RIGHT FOR BODY LOTION?
- YEAH. I'VE GOT 182 BOTTLES.

- DID THE AERIAL COME DOWN WITH HIM?
- YES, IT DID.

THIS IS T'PAU.

HELPING EVERYONE RELAX IN "ALAN'S DEEP BATH".

THAT'S WHAT IT WAS FOR.

I'M A SOFT TARGET.
THEY WON'T GO FOR THE PRIME MINISTER,

ALL I NEED NOW IS A SHOTGUN.

- YES. GOOD MORNING, ALAN...
- WHOA. LET ME FINISH.

LIKE A BOW-TIE, BUT MINIATURE?
LIKE AN ACTION MAN BOW-TIE.

- WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE BEATLES ALBUM?
- TOUGH ONE.

THE FUNNY THING IS I'VE BEEN
IN THE BUSINESS FOR 15 YEARS,

COME ON, LYNN.
THESE PEOPLE ARE STARTING TO ANNOY ME.

LET'S ALL SING IT.
# TELL YOU WHAT, TELL YOU WHAT

I DON'T THINK THAT'S CONNERY'S CUP OF TEA.

182 DAYS IN A TRAVEL TAVERN!