I FEEL I HAVE...HAD AND ARE...

- YOU GOT MY TEXT, THEN?
- HELLO, ALAN.

- CERTAINLY.
- YEAH. YOU ROBOT.

I MET A GUY CALLED JACK ON THE INTERNET,
THEN HE WENT BACK TO HIS WIFE.

I'D LIKE YOU TO RETURN
MY "SPY WHO LOVED ME" VIDEO.

THEY'RE ONLY THE BAND
THE BEATLES COULD HAVE BEEN.

- I CAN'T SELL YOU ANY PETROL.
- I WAS PASSING. I THOUGHT I'D...

OF COURSE, TAPE MEASURES
IN THOSE DAYS WERE VIEWED WITH SUSPICION.

- DREADFUL BUSINESS.
- OH, AWFUL. AWFUL BUSINESS.

- I STARTED ON CRACK.
- THAT'S NOT THE SAME AS CRACKLING?

I BRING AN ELEMENT OF HUMOUR.

THERE'S ONE IN THE CHAMBER

YOU WANT TO MAKE LOVE? THE BED'S READY.

- THE FOOD WILL PROBABLY...
- BREAK IT DOWN.

WOULD IT BE RUDE TO STOP LISTENING
TO YOU AND SPEAK TO SOMEBODY ELSE?

THE TIME IS TEN PAST FIVE.

IF YOU COME UP WITH ANYTHING ELSE,
THEN I DON'T WANT YOU TO HESITATE TO CALL...

THEY'VE ASKED ME TO TAKE OVER
TONY'S JOB AS CHIEF COMMISSIONING EDITOR.