IF YOU'D LIKE TO FOLLOW ME.

YES.

I'M NOT OLD! I'M 43, YOU CHEEKY GIT!

IT'S TOUCH AND GO.

QUESTION FROM THERE.

YOU'RE JOINING ME, ALAN PARTRIDGE,

YOU'VE GOT TO USE YOUR IMAGINATION, ALAN.
THERE'S A LOT OF LADIES IN HERE TONIGHT.

HE SAY I SIT ON YOUR FACE.

I'M A NAKED WOMAN IN SILHOUETTE WITH A GUN.

- ER, BEN?
- YEAH?

- HOW WAS THAT, OK?
- IT'S NOT WORKING. YOU CAN TELL.

- NO.
- GOOD.

THIS COULD LOOK LIKE SOME SORT OF DIRTY PROTEST
AGAINST THE STANDARD OF SERVICE IN THE HOTEL,

- GET THAT COW OFF THE BOAT!
- IT SMELLS. I CAN FEEL AN UDDER ON MY LEG!

# I WASN'T LOOKING
AND SOMEHOW YOU FOUND ME... #

"MONKEY TENNIS"?

NO. I'M NOT GOING TO GIVE YOU
A SIX-MONTH CONTRACT.

THEY'RE GOOD FOR MAKING A POINT.
ERROR ONE, RIGHT..