I'VE CALMED DOWN NOW.

PROBABLY SURVIVE A COUPLE OF BREAK-INS
BEFORE IT STARTED TO FALL APART.

AND I ASKED, "WHO INVENTED THE SKIP?"
JACK ON LINE TWO.

AND GOOD MORNING TO YOU, MR ALAN PARTRIDGE, SIR.

- HELLO, MICHAEL. DO YOU WANT TO BE ALONE?
- OH, NO. IT'S NICE TO HAVE COMPANY.

NO, SORRY ABOUT THAT.

AND YOU'RE SPENDING SATURDAY IN BED WITH A GIRL.

WHEN I RAISED MY LEGS THEN,
SOMETHING UNPLANNED HAPPENED.

SEE THAT MAN WITH THE BIG HEAD
AND THE SMALL FACE?

I'LL WATCH IT FOR YOU!
THROUGH MY LITTLE BINOCULARS, WHOO!

OK. WELL, YOU GET
THE GENERAL IDEA ANYWAY. THANK YOU.

TELL ME ANYTHING WITH THAT SMILE
AND IT WOULD SEEM LIKE CHRISTMAS.

HOW CAN YOU SET FIRE TO YOUR HANDS?

"TAKE THAT BLUSHER OFF
YOU UGLY MISSHAPEN-HEADED ELEPHANT TRANNY"?

- FLAVIA? GOOD CALL.
- KING OF COFFEES.

YEAH. ALL RIGHT. WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?

WE'LL SET UP A SIGNAL. IF YOU SEE KETCHUP
IN THE WINDOW, IT MEANS, "LET'S MAKE LOVE."

NO! COME BACK!