WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO LAP DANCE FOR YOU?

THEY'VE RE-BADGED IT, YOU FOOL!

WE'RE NOT ON SHORT-WAVE RADIO.

MY UKRAINIAN GIRLFRIEND ATTACKED ME
WITH A RUBBER HAMMER. SHE'S MILDLY CRETINOUS.

IS THAT YOU CAN'T HEAR
YOUR GEORDIE ACCENT ON THE BOARD.

SO...THANKS.

YOU'RE LIKE YOUR MOTHER IN HER LAST WEEKS.

IT WAS MY UNDERSTANDING IN THE LIFT
THAT NO MONEY WOULD CHANGE HANDS.

I'D NEVER LET THAT HAPPEN. HE'D BATTER YOU.
COME ON. TELL ME WHAT YOU'VE GOT.

THEY'VE GOT SOME GOATS' CHEESE OUT THERE.

- HE THINKS HE'S ROD STEWART!
- YOUR ROAD SAFETY VIDEO'S DOING WELL.

- YES, I THINK SO.
- I'D BETTER ANSWER IT.

I CUT IT RIGHT IN HALF. HE RUNS ONTO THE GARAGE ROOF.

- ALAN? THERE'S A CALL FOR YOU.
- WHO IS IT?

WE, ER...

(IMITATES ACCENT)..PYROTECHNICS.

THREE. NO, NO... FOUR. IT DOESN'T MATTER, DOES IT?

THEY WERE DOING EVERYONE, ALAN.
EVEN ME. IT WAS QUITE SAVAGE.