I'M VERY GRATEFUL YOU'VE COME OVER.

NO, NOT YOU, THE WOMAN BEHIND.

RIGHT, WELL...

WE'RE QUESTIONING ONE BLOKE.

(STEVE) IT'S A DEAD COW.
WHERE THE BLEEDING HELL DID THAT COME FROM?

THEY'RE LOVELY AT THAT AGE.

YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO SACK EVERYONE
AND CLOSE THE OFFICE DOWN

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

"F RAPHAEL." FUNNY. I USED TO HAVE
A TEACHER AT SCHOOL CALLED FRANK RAPHAEL.

AND YOUR MEETING
WITH PIET MORANT FROM DANTE FIRES.

- WE GOT EGGS, WE GOT CHICKEN...
- WHICH CAME FIRST?

SONJA, THIS IS NO LAUGHING MATTER.

- YOU HAVEN'T GOT WHIPLASH.
- I KNOW.

TO INDEPENDENT PROGRAMME MAKERS.

IDEA FOR A PROGRAMME,
"LADY SHAPES WITH ALAN PARTRIDGE".

WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING FOR THREE MINUTES?

- SMELL MY CHEESE, YOU MOTHER!
- I THINK THAT'S QUITE ENOUGH, THANK YOU!

ACTUALLY, CAN I TALK TO YOU?
IT'S A RATHER DELICATE MATTER.