I USED TO THINK, "OOH, SHE'S NICER THAN MY WIFE!"

- CAN I TAKE THAT FOR YOU?
- OH, HOW VERY THOUGHTFUL.

JAVA.

- I'LL HOLD THE DOOR FOR YOU.
- THANK YOU.

AND THAT MADE ME LAUGH.

- YEAH.
- I'LL SHOW YOU SOMETHING.

- EXCUSE ME, ARE YOU ALAN PARTRIDGE?
- YES.

SWEATY RAPHAEL WE USED TO CALL HIM.
GREAT BIG STAINS UNDER HIS ARMPITS.

- # DING DONG MERRILY ON... #
- DON'T SING, SUSAN!

- WHOSE IS THAT CARAVAN?
- THE BUILDERS LIVE IN THERE.

I DON'T KNOW WHETHER THIS PROTRUSION
IS A GOOD OR BAD THING.

(ALAN) THIS IS THE STORY OF A WOMAN, 50,

- HI, ALAN. HELLO, LYNN. HELLO, BUILDERS.
- I TOLD YOU. WATCH.

- PUMP NUMBER THREE.
- GOOD PUMP.

DON'T CRY, EARS!
YOU'RE ON THE SIDE OF A LOVELY HEAD!

NO, THANKS.
I DON'T WANT TO BE PART OF YOUR SEX FESTIVAL.

I THINK I'D PREFER TO ADOPT. MEN CAN THESE DAYS.

- THERE, THAT'S DISCONNECTED.
- GOOD.