I CAN'T HAVE A BIRD
TYING TO HAVE SEX WITH MY PHONE.

ALAN HAD A TV CHAT SHOW AND WAS QUITE
A BIG NAME, AND THEN IT ALL WENT VERY WRONG.

I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW WITH ANOTHER PRIZE.
IT'S A PIGGY BANK.

THERE ARE THINGS I DO WITH SONJA THAT
I WOULD NEVER HAVE DONE WITH MY EX-WIFE CAROL.

NO? ER, RIGHT. TEA?

# TELL YOU WHAT. TELL YOU WHAT
IT'S NINE AND A HALF THOUSAND POUNDS #

- WHAT'S THAT ON YOUR FINGERS?
- THEY'RE TUNGSTEN-TIPPED SCREWS.

GETTING A BIT CROWDED NOW. LIKE LONDON.

THE END OF THE BEGINNING GOES LIKE THIS.

(LIFT BELL DINGS)

I HAD HEARD SOMETHING.

TOOTHLESS SIMPLETONS...

IT'S GOOD THIS, ISN'T IT, EVEN THOUGH
WE'RE BASICALLY JUST LISTING CHOCOLATE BARS?

- ARE YOU ALL RIGHT FOR BODY LOTION?
- YEAH. I'VE GOT 182 BOTTLES.

- KEEP THE THOUGHT THERE.
- AAGH! I THOUGHT YOU WERE ATTACKING ME.

SOME OF THESE PEOPLE HAVE COME FROM STOKE.

NOT WHAT YOU WERE TAUGHT
IN THE ARMY - CAMOUFLAGE.

YES, I THINK I PROBABLY WOULD.