LIKE SHARON DAVIES AND JET FROM "GLADIATORS".

- I'VE BOUGHT YOU THE CARAVAN.
- I DON'T LIVE IN THE HOUSE WITH YOU?

IN NORWICH...FOR A BIT.

- SHALL WE HAVE A LOOK AT THE REST OF THE HOUSE?
- YUP.

NEVER YOU MIND, ALAN.

IT'S A SERIOUS SUBJECT.
I ONCE FOUND A LUMP UNDER MY ARM. AWFUL.

("GAUDETE" BY STEELEYE SPAN,
SUNG IN LATIN)

I BRING AN ELEMENT OF HUMOUR.

WHICH CELEBRITY YOU'D SPEND A BANK HOLIDAY WITH
AND WHAT WOULD YOU DO.

I'M SHIT-CHATTING. SORRY, CHIT-SHATTING.

NEWS.

HE WANTS TO BE BURIED IN A LARGE SATIN-LINED
COFFIN WITH A COUPLE OF PAGE THREE STUNNERS.

- WHAT'S HIS NAME?
- GORDON.

MICHAEL, IF HE HITS ME, WILL YOU HIT HIM?

NO, JUST A PIPE OF PRINGLES, FINE.

DID YOU HAVE ANY FRIENDS
OR COUSINS OVER WHILE YOU WERE THERE?

IT'S A COFFEE SHOP, BUT ONE MAN SAYS
TO ANOTHER MAN, "YOU CAN'T HAVE A COFFEE..."

THE IRAQIS MUST HAVE BEEN PETRIFIED
WHEN THEY SAW THAT.