I'M DRIVING AROUND IN AN OBSCENE PUBLICATION.
I'D LOVE TO GET MY HANDS ON THE BASTARD.

HELLO. THE GENTLEMEN
FROM THE CORPORATE VIDEO ARE ON THEIR WAY.

I'LL JUST GO ON UP TO THE CLUB
AND MEET THAT VIDEO WOMAN.

IT'S NOT HERE! "IT'S NOT HERE!"
THAT'S THE BEAR AGAIN.

CARD WITH A HANDSHAKE?
I USED TO DO THAT, BUT KEPT GETTING IT WRONG.

YOU'RE JOINING ME, ALAN PARTRIDGE,

IF YOU LET ME GO, I WILL GIVE YOU

- THERE YOU GO, TWO CHOCOLATE MOUSSES.
- THANK YOU.

SO I PICKED IT UP AND I THREW IT IN THE SEA.

- I DON'T UNDERSTAND THE JOKE.
- DROP IT, LYNN.

ACTUALLY, HE LIVES IN THE AREA.
I COULD HAVE HAD HIM OVER.

- HI. I'M PATRICIA LESSING.
- KAREN COLMAN. NICE OF YOU TO COME.

I WOULDN'T HIT THEM WITH A SHOVEL
NO MATTER HOW BAD THE BOOKS WERE'.

YEAH. I HATE MERCS.
PEOPLE WHO DRIVE THEM ARE JUST SA-A-AD.

ON THE LINE, WE HAVE, IF I'M NOT MISTAKEN
ROY FROM CAISTER ST EDMUND. HELLO.

- PLEASE?
- NO, YOU CAN'T!

IN RECESSED LETTERING,
WHICH WOULD ALSO COLLECT CRUMBS.