GOING TO HAVE TO INTERRUPT YOU, STEPHEN,
IT'S TIME NOW FOR ALAN'S "FACT OF THE DAY".

AYE. THIS ONE TIME, RIGHT,
L WAS STATIONED OUT IN BELIZE

ANYWAY, THERE'S THE BAR.
GENTLEMEN, CHOOSE YOUR WEAPONS.

I HAVE MENTAL HEALTH PROBLEMS.

SO THAT'S ALL FROM ME.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH. GOODBYE.

- ALL THE BLOOD WILL RUN OUT OF THE HOLE.
- PULL IT OFF.

THE SECURITY IS TERRIBLE. I ACTUALLY BOOKED
THE ROOM UNDER THE NAME OF THE REAL IRA.

# HE PAINTED SALFORD'S SMOKY TOPS
ON CARDBOARD BOXES FROM THE SHOPS

YES. I THINK I'LL HAVE
THE FETTUCCINI A L'ARRABBIATA, PLEASE.

THREE. NO, NO... FOUR. IT DOESN'T MATTER, DOES IT?

NO, ACTUALLY. IT WAS LIKE THIS.

YES, I KNOW. IT'S JUST A JOKE.

YOU TELL TAX PEOPLE THEY WON'T FIND YOUR MONEY?

- ALL RIGHT, GUYS?
- ALL RIGHT?

I'M JUST SICK AND TIRED OF YOU SLAGGING FARMERS
OFF. ARE YOU GOING TO APOLOGISE TO THEM?

(KNOCK)

IN NORWICH...FOR A BIT.

- HELLO. HOW ARE YOU DOING?
- WHAT ARE YOU READING?