- WHEN DID YOU GET THIS CALL?
- THREE MINUTES AGO.

IF YOU STICK AROUND
FOR THE AFTERNOON WITH ALAN PARTRIDGE,

I CAN SEE A LOT OF VERY EXCITING OPPORTUNITIES
AHEAD FOR YOU.

YOU'VE MISSED A BIT.

(GUN NOISE)

OH, GOD, NO. I'M OLD ENOUGH TO BE HER FATHER.
WELL, HER OLDER BROTHER. EITHER WAY IT'S INCEST.

- WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?
- SORRY.

AND THERE'S DALENDESS SHID.

- SHE SAYS SHE CAN HEAR YOUR VOICE.
- CALL HER A FAT COW, THEN HANG UP.

NEEDLESS TO SAY, I HAD THE LAST LAUGH.
NOW FUCK OFF!

(MOBILE RINGS)

HALF AND HALF.

SONJA, THIS IS IN THE LATE '80S.

GOOD. GOOD.

- DO YOU NEED ME THERE?
- I DON'T NEED YOU. I'D LIKE YOU THERE.

THE POLICE DON'T ARREST THEM
BECAUSE THEY ONLY SLAUGHTER THEIR OWN.

"DANGEROUS DOGS SHOULD HAVE
THEIR TEETH REPLACED WITH RUBBER."

ONE MORE QUESTION ABOUT THE HOUSE.
PETROL STATIONS NEARBY?