I WOULDN'T HIT THEM WITH A SHOVEL
NO MATTER HOW BAD THE BOOKS WERE'.
WE'RE NOT ON SHORT-WAVE RADIO.
THERE IS A SERIOUS REASON WHY I'M WEARING THIS.
BASICALLY, TERRESTRIAL TV IS A DEAD DUCK,
AND WHO WATCHES A DEAD DUCK?
- I'LL GO FOR THE HEAD.
- I'M THE TERMINATOR!
DON'T CRUSH THEM, LYNN!
NICE AND OUT OF THE WAY.
THEY'RE PULPING THE UNSOLD 14,OOO COPIES
OF MY BOOK NEXT THURSDAY
THE VERY FACT YOU'RE QUESTIONING MY-MY-MY...
MY GOD.
- THAT'S NOT WATERSPORTS.
- WHAT'S WATERSPORTS?
NOT CHRIST. SORRY, I KEEP SAYING CHRIST.
THIS GUY CANED ME FOR DRAWING A CHALK PENIS
ON MY BACK, WHICH I COULDN'T POSSIBLY DO.
ACTUALLY, I CAME DOWN THIS MORNING
AND I COULDN'T OPEN MY DOOR.
SO, YOU'D BE LIVING ALONE?
- MORNING, ALAN,
- GOOD MORNING.
- MDF'S BANNED IN AMERICA.
- SO'S THAT.
AS A MUSTARDESS, IF YOU LIKE,
WHAT'S YOUR VIEW ON THE NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK?
THAT'S WHY I'M TALKING.
Alan Partridge: Big Beacon
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