- STAY THERE.
- RIGHT.
THE TEMPERATURE INSIDE THIS APPLE TURNOVER
IS 1,OOO DEGREES.
IT'S SOUP YOU CAN EAT. BUT LOTS OF LIQUID.
(DRUM MACHINE PLAYS)
HAVE YOU EVER SHAVED YOUR CRACKLING?
HE'S BEING CHASED BY THESE RUSSIAN SHITS
IN BLACK JUMPSUITS WITH LEMON PIPING.
AND SHOUT, "GET OUT OF THE AREA!"
AND WATCH THEM PANIC.
SO JUST DON'T TURN ROUND.
- EITHER WAY, ONE OF US IS GOING DOWN.
- ALAN, I'VE COME TO MAKE PEACE.
- HOW?
- THE SAME WAY YOU WOULD A HUMAN BEING.
THE WOMAN WITH THE OLD TADGER...
FINE. SQUEEZE A DOUBLE BED IN
AND I CAN OPEN THE DOOR AND STEP ONTO THE BED.
- A PIECE OF FRUIT?
- NO, THANKS.
A BED OR A BIG CHAIR.
I'VE JUST REMEMBERED, I'VE FORGOTTEN MY CARD.
WE'VE ALL SEEN THEM IN UNDESIRABLE AREAS.
RIGHT, RIGHT.
LET'S TALK ABOUT YOUR DRUG ADDICTION.
YOU WERE HOOKED ON A VARIETY OF DRUGS.
Alan Partridge: Big Beacon
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