WHAT ARE YOU TYING TO SAY?!

(IMITATES ACCENT)..PYROTECHNICS.

- ALAN PARTRIDGE.
- THE VERY SAME. WHAT ARE YOU UP TO?

- DOUBLE IT.
- IT'S STILL CHEAP.

THAT'S WHY I'M ER... THAT'S WHY I'M ER...

JUST TALKING ABOUT COWS.

- WHAT'S HE DOING HERE?
- YOU SAID INVITE A GUEST.

(VERY FAST DRUMBEAT)

ONE MORE QUESTION ABOUT THE HOUSE.
PETROL STATIONS NEARBY?

# IT'S THE KISS OF DEATH

DO YOU WANT ME TO SHOW YOU
HOW TO PRESS THE BUTTON THAT SAYS "NO"?

(ALAN) DON'T WORRY, LYNN, I'LL PLAY IT DOWN.

CHAMPION!

"NEEDLESS TO SAY, I HAD THE LAST LAUGH."

IMAGINE DREAMING ABOUT THAT AND WAKING UP
SCREAMING, 'CAUSE THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED.

- NO!
- RIGHT.

FIRE! FIRE! THE FAIR'S ON FIRE!

THEY WERE DEVELOPED IN THE LATE '60S, EARLY '70S,